Estate Reanimates Corpse and Sues

NEW ENGLAND – The estate of American novelist, F. Scott Fitzgerald, successfully reanimated the corpse of Fitzgerald, and subsequently filed for copyright extensions.

As many works of fiction written in the early 20th century reach the end of their copyright protection and enter the public domain, the face of publishing is shifting. No longer will there be definitive versions of classics such as The Great Gatsby. Entering the public domain will open these works to fan fiction, reinterpretation, and most importantly: free copies riddled with typos available on the world wide web. While previously only available at every library across the country as well as nearly every new and used book store in multitudes, some complain these classics hard to find.

One man without an education decried, “The Great Gatsby? Sure I would have read it if I hadn’t dropped out of school, or if I could even get my hands on it. I was forced to watch the movie. Both of them. But I liked The Great Train Robbery better.”

In an attempt to squelch the loss of copyright control, Fitzgerald’s estate reanimated the significantly decayed corpse of the author to prove he was still alive. The estate credits this reanimation possibility to both the discovery of the structure of DNA in 1953, and to Mary Shelley. The lead scientist involved in the reanimation project state, “If Shelley knew about DNA, Frankenstein would have been a very different story.”

Real life Dr. Frankenstein, incidentally named Dr. Frankenstein III, was expelled from Cold Water Springs, an industry leader in genetic research, when he was caught digging up corpses. “I don’t agree that there’s a difference between changing genes in the tube, and reanimating what’s already lived and died. They’re both science.” But when Dr. Frankenstein III was contacted by the Fitzgerald estate, he felt vindicated. “I’m a scientist. And now I’m a scientist working on something classic. I’m a classic scientist. It’s kismet.”

But to some, this immoral and illegal process of bringing back the dead strikes a nerve. “What is this, Geriatric Park?”

The lawyer for the Fitzgerald estate said in a statement, “The family members of these artists need the money. They don’t need to contribute to society. Their grandfather wrote a classic. You should be so lucky.”

The result of the copyright extension request is pending review at the time of this publication.

by Dan Plighter