After Millenia, Window Closes

SEA OF CORTEZ – Tensions in the Northern Hemisphere reached a new climax last week when the Sea of Cortez and the Pacific Ocean decided to meet no more.

The result?

The Arch of Cabo San Lucas, known to locals as the “Window” will undergo a permanent closing process. Erosion is slated to continue immediately.

However, a source who works near the Window was unable to say when it might close altogether. “It could be a while. I mean, it’s been open for a while. It could be a while. I mean… a while.”

It is unclear why the Sea of Cortez and the Pacific Ocean decided not to meet again. It throws into question the future of the tourist industry, which now seems murky.

“People sail down here. How are they going to get from the Sea to the Ocean, or the other way, if the two don’t meet no more?”

Many locals showed their remorse for the breakdown in relations by swimming, snorkeling, taking water taxis out to view sea lions basking on rocks and barking incessantly from their smelly perch, and just about anything else to distract themselves from the grief they felt.

“It’s a shame,” said one tourist. “That window was always so clean. You could like… see right through it… like it was open or something.”

by Dan Plighter