Minnesota Man Causes 
Furor with Pro-Snow Stance

ST. CLOUD – Tossing the last heaping shovel of snow over his shoulder, a Minnesota man exhaled deeply and announced, “I love the snow.”

Peter F. Thomas, 37, a life-long resident of the St. Cloud area, was quoted by several newspapers on Saturday regarding his affection for the weather this time of year. His comments have caused a flurry of media scrutiny about his life and history.

“We think it’s an important issue to the residents of this city,” said St. Cloud Times editor Neil Creekpark. “Our philosophy has always been: what creates the most well-informed electorate? We think investigating this man’s past actions, anything that could’ve led to this comment, is critical.”

Thomas, a welder with a local auto body shop, is often seen after work taking the time to maintain his home and surroundings. Neighbors have often witnessed him mowing the lawn, trimming the dahlia bushes in his front yard, or chopping wood for his stove. All the while, Thomas has a huge smile on his face.

“When I’m at [the auto body shop], it’s rare that I get a chance to step outside. I sometimes go hours without even taking my hood off. So after work, on weekends, whenever I can – I’m outside. It’s a miracle to behold. Especially the perfect snow this time of year.”

Asked to comment on Thomas statement, neighbors “tsk-ed” while shaking their heads.

by Pembry Cornish