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Month: February 2019

White House Declares National Emergency to Figure Out Who Turned Up the Thermostat

WASHINGTON – The world of Washington politics erupted in shock and outrage on Sunday as the White House […]

Pembry Cornish February 19, 2019 Politics

Reanimated Corpse of Abraham Lincoln Gets Sweet Deal on Toyota Corolla

SPRINGFIELD – The corpse of Abraham Lincoln crawled from its grave on Wednesday, and was greeted by a […]

Pembry Cornish February 18, 2019 Business, Culture, Politics

Model Train Enthusiast Arrested for Railroading in Public

SANTA FE – The New Mexico Rail Runner Express (NMRX) is a commuter rail system serving the metropolitan […]

Nebulous Observer Editor February 18, 2019 Arts, Culture, Travel

Man Posts Valentine’s Day Picture of Ex-Girlfriend for #TBT; Present Girlfriend Wasn’t Happy

MENLO PARK – For Roger Shuckem, Thursdays always include posting pictures of days-gone-by on social media accounts, participating […]

Nebulous Observer Editor February 14, 2019 Culture

United States Government Exports Itself

DUBAI – Fearing another government shutdown, Congress is taking a radical new step to keep the government functioning […]

Nebulous Observer Editor February 14, 2019 Politics

Nearby Alien Hivemind to Earth: “Shut up for a second.”

ALPHA CENTAURI – The globe is reeling this morning after nearby extra-terrestrials reached out to make contact with […]

Pembry Cornish February 13, 2019 Culture, Science

Yoga Class Thrown Into Chaos By Endless Loop of Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

PORTLAND – A Portland hot yoga class devolved into bedlam after the instructor’s phone got stuck playing Californication […]

Pembry Cornish February 12, 2019 Sports

Editorial: Pluto to Nebulous Observer: “Hey – screw you.”

CLEVELAND – In a stunning rebuke to yesterday’s post by this newspaper, the ninth planet Pluto responded in […]

Pembry Cornish February 7, 2019 Editorial, Science

Disgruntled, Intoxicated Pluto Spotted Orbiting a Neon Sign

CLEVELAND – Astonished and drunk human residents of downtown Cleveland gathered on fourth street to gawk after the […]

Nebulous Observer Editor February 6, 2019 Science

Young Man Takes Literature Literally

ST. LOUIS – A young man of eighteen read a book the other day. Then he headed west. […]

Nebulous Observer Editor February 5, 2019 Culture, Travel

Football Fans Emerge from Hole in the Ground, Announce Six More Years of Tom Brady

ATLANTA – Football fans the world over surfaced from their darkened soundproof dens and man caves on Sunday […]

Pembry Cornish February 4, 2019 Sports
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