County Celebrates the Fourth on the Fifth, or Some Other Time

WISCONSIN – As each village competes to bring tourists to their trappings, Door County of Wisconsin managed to skip this year’s celebration of the 4th of July.

“We celebrate it on different days. It allows people to spend more money and drink more in different villages,” said an advocate and anonymous village board member. “We like that.”

Each village plans their own parade and activities.

“We do ours on the 3rd,” said a representative of Egg Harbor.

“Ours is on the 5th,” reported Sister Bay.

“Our village is too poor to do fireworks,” lamented Juddville.

As the NO dug further, it turned out no one organized fireworks displays for the 4th. The common answer to the question was ‘we thought someone else was doing that.’

That did not stop residents from setting fire to the noisemakers and light makers, however.

“We do fireworks all friggin’ week because I pay for this house that’s why,” stated a man who visits his property one week per year.

The small village of Valmy, however, said they are planning for an August 4th celebration of July 4th.

“It has the same number. I think people will like that.”

-Dan Plighter